Log in

Rogue's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[August 11th, 2003 @ 6:39AM ]
As had become the norm for the past few days Rogue had spent yet another evening blatantly staring into her computer screen as she aimlessly surfed the net.

Eyes soar from a good 4 hours locked to the only source of light in her dark room, Rogue stretched out her arms, her eyes falling shut as she released a silent yawn. It was about 1 in the morning. She’d have classes in 6 hours. Pealing off her pink tube top and white shorts she slipped into a slinky satin nightgown and fell onto her bed as if she had no muscles to hold her up.

“So tired,” she sighed as she struggled to pull the white silk sheets over her petit shapely body. The white screen of the computer quickly flickered black as it went into automatic rest mode. The night was certainly much cooler than it had been the entire summer. Shivering slightly Rogue pulled the sheets tight under her chin and then allowed her eyes to flutter shut as she quickly dozed off to sleep.

Hours passed as the southern belle slept contently, but just before the red digital numbers on her alarm clock could flicker 5 o’clock she suddenly woke up in a rage of gasps and flailing. In her mind she was drowning—the sheets had become water and under their depths she was struggling to breath. Fully awake she fought to swim. Swim through the sheets to save her life. Letting out a yelp, which to her seemed to carry little distance, she felt herself swallow in a mouthful of water—losing air, becoming weak, and falling limp.
just try and touch me sugah

[August 8th, 2003 @ 4:04PM ]
[ mood | bored ]

Things are movin' real slow. Ah don't know what it is but there ain't nothin' too excitin' happenin'.

There are a few new students at the school. Hopefully Ah'll get to know them better.

Tessa took a look at my bracelet gadget. She warned me not to be usin' it too often. She's afraid it might be unhealthy or somethin' like that. Ah'll try mah best to take her warning seriously but if the need calls-- bein' Bobby, Ah'm gonna put it on, no question 'bout it.

Well thats all for now! Tootles!

I’ve absorbed 4 powers | | just try and touch me sugah

[August 3rd, 2003 @ 1:05PM ]
[ mood | embarrassed ]

It seems as though Ah'm wanting to move a lil' faster than Bobby can comply with. As Ah told him, Ah feel quite embarrassed about my quick paced date idea.

It seems as though Ah've suddenly become blind of how Bobby works, yet Ah'm still descoverin' new an' very much likeable things about him. For one thing he's a lot wiser than anyone would believe-- at least in the department of relationships, and he's very sensitive and compassionate.

Well, that'll be all for now... which reminds me; Ah think I should really be gettin' to Tessa 'bout checkin out my lil' gadget thing.

I’ve absorbed 2 powers | | just try and touch me sugah

[July 31st, 2003 @ 5:17PM ]
[ mood | loved ]

Nothin' can describe how happy-- jubliant Ah am.
Bobby finally worked up the courage to tell me how he felt-- about me... about us. An' to put it in simplist terms he told me-- as well as showed me *blushes*, he loves me.

It's hard to say how long Ah've been in love with Bobby. As Ah've said before it was only when Ah thought Ah was goin' to lose him that any feelin's beyond those of friendship surfaced. For all Ah know Ah could've been fallin' for him since the day we met.

Ah wonder when Bobby figured it out?

Anyways, Ah'm in love an' that's all that be matterin' to me right now.

An' on another note Ah recieved a lil' gadget thing today, just before Bobby came by. Ah believe it's from the professor. Anyhow, it allowed me to be touchin' Bobby-- skin to skin. Perhaps I should get Tessa to be lookin' at it.

I’ve absorbed 4 powers | | just try and touch me sugah

[July 27th, 2003 @ 5:12PM ]
Dearest Bobby,

Ah confessed my inner-most and deepest feelin's to you and ya left me hangin' on my own words. Ah've been in a worrisome state since you've been gone leavin' me with no reply an' lil' hope. Tell me Ah'm wrong in havin' lost that hope that we may still have a chance together. Tell me you love me... if you truely do.


I’ve absorbed 1 power | | just try and touch me sugah

Wishes Granted [July 27th, 2003 @ 2:27PM ]
Having yet another dull day wishing she could see Bobby again Rogue made her way back to her room to sulk and complain over her online journal. Pushing the slightly jarred door with her limp body she moved towards her vanity and plopped herself down onto the plush stool. Resting her head upon folded arms across the smooth cool surface of the vanity her fingers fell across the metallic obscene form upon her favourite pair of gloves.

Peering over slightly tanned but still very much fair arms Rogue spied the note and gadget left. Taking up note and machine in either hand she studied the gadget closely. Then turning her attention to the note she read "To a deserving student. May your dreams come true- to know what it feels like to touch with your skin." Jumping up with excitement Rogue dropped the note and fidgeted around with the mechanism.

Shaped more or less like an oversized poorly crafted bracelet Rogue slipped it on eagerly in hopes she was using it the right way. Waiting anticipatorily for something to happen in which nothing did Rogue began to desperately tap the metal with her index finger.

"Work, damn you!" she cursed at the in-adamant object around her wrist. And then noticing the tiny black button at the side of the gadget she stabbed it with her pinkie. "Now work!" Immediately the mechanism began to hum in a low soothing tone and before she knew it three small but thick needles, which had been hidden within the metal exterior, punctured through the flesh and veins of her wrist. Letting out a painful yelp Rogue collapsed to the floor holding her arm tightly to her body. "What sorta sick trick is this, Xavier?" she yelled furiously at the walls knowing he would be able to sense her anger.

The pain slowly settled as her arm drew accustom to the needles and the energy being pumped through her veins. Breathing heavily from the shock and tantrum Rogue stared down at her wrist in awe. Ah wonder if it works…
just try and touch me sugah

Old photos and new torment [July 21st, 2003 @ 8:36PM ]
Sitting cross-legged on her bed, with nothing more than the dim light of her side lamp, Rogue sived through masses of pictures sprawled across her comforter; pictures from back in the day when everyone was new and merely good friends-- when she hadn't cared so much about not being near Bobby... not wondering if Bobby cared about her. Everyone was just friends.

Picking up the next picture closest to her she found an image of herself on a swing with Bobby posing right in behind her. They were close then- friends that is, but not as close as they had suddenly become, nore as close as she wanted them to be.

"Bobby," she whispered in a longful voice, tracing a finger along his one-dimentional glossy face.

Just as soon as he had awaken he was gone again-- off to some retreat not too far off, but far enough. He had left her hanging not knowing if he shared her feelings- if he loved her as she had quickly blurted out to him that day he awoke from a comma. His reaction was simply one of shock- one she could not decipher as good or bad. At such a time she wished she had been gifted with telepathy, but no such luck. She was gifted- or cursed rather, with the ability to absorb a living being's powers and/or life with a touch. More than anything she was afraid this would be the deciding factor that would lead to Bobby's choice to chance being with her or not.

Bringing the picture to her lips she kissed his image. "Ah need you Bobby, more than you know... but are you willin' to take that leap of faith. Ah know you feel somethin' for me... and Ah can only pray that it is love." She paused as she glanced out the window. "Come home Bobby an' tell me I'm right." Then with heavy eyes on the verge of tearing and filled with fatigue, Rogue lay her head down upon the blanket of photos. Held tight to her body like a teddy bear was Bobby's picture.
just try and touch me sugah

[July 17th, 2003 @ 3:52PM ]
[ mood | crushed ]

Bobby's awake!!!
He's alive! Nothing can ruin this day.

I went over to his room to find comfort in his absence and ended up findin' him awake! I don't know if I surprised him or scared him by my sudden appearence and taking him into my arms... and cryin'... And then I kissed him... now that I think about it I think I did scare him.

What have I done!?!?
I have ruined everythin'.
I'm such a bubble head!!!
Too damn flirty for my own good.
But I wasn't flirtin' with Bobby!
I actually want Bobby- love Bobby.
What if he doesn't want me.
What if he's not into havin' a girl!?

My minds to full of thoughts to actually think an' try and write anything anymore. I think I'll go and grab myself a lil' somethin' to eat and then try and sort out these thoughts and feelin's. All I need to do is make another mistake and then I'll have scared off Bobby for good.

I’ve absorbed 10 powers | | just try and touch me sugah

[July 13th, 2003 @ 8:23PM ]
[ mood | crushed ]

I decided to visit Bobby today.
My feelings for him have grown overpoweringly strong.

The infirmary was cold. Bobby must be letting off the coolness.
He lay on the bed hooked up to who knows what as still and pale as death.
It breaks my heart to see him like that.
I wanted to touch him in hopes that my touch might have a reverse affect and bring him to life. But I know I'd only end up finishing him off.
So I kissed my gloved fingers and pressed it to his lips.
I only hope that he knows how much I need and miss him.
I don't want to lose him... more than I don't want to lose the Prof.
Don't leave me Bobby... not now that I've finally figured it out.

just try and touch me sugah

[July 12th, 2003 @ 8:05PM ]
[ mood | distressed ]

He can't be our source of evil.
He wouldn't!
He wouldn't Ah tell ya!!!

just try and touch me sugah

[July 8th, 2003 @ 7:15PM ]
[ mood | confused ]

The night was long. Very long. Got back to the institute around 7 am. Remy and I stayed up all night watching movies at the movie house. So many times my eyes wanted to give way to sleep but I wouldn't allow myself and neither would Remy who was very friendly.

I must say I'm attracted to Remy. He seems to be my type of guy. The bad guy. I don't know why I'm attracted to them bad ones. Sorta sexy I guess. And not to mention he's good lookin' beyong belief! But my hearts still strung out for Bobby right now. I don't know what it is! Perhaps this whole oredeal with him in a coma and possible never getting to talk with him again has gotten me expressin' my hearts true desires for him. Either way I'm torn. I know I'm attracted to Remy and he's even attracted to me too, but my hearts screamin' Bobby!

just try and touch me sugah

[July 8th, 2003 @ 7:28AM ]
A little dirty dancing never hurt anyone.Collapse )
just try and touch me sugah

[July 7th, 2003 @ 8:43AM ]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I promised myself I wouldn't go to sleep, but I did. I had nothing better to do. And I had the dream... the nightmare again! It was horrible. I can't bear to see it again.

Somehow I've got to stay awake tonight, but I don't think I can! If I couldn't stay up last night how can I expect myself to stay up tonight! I'm even more exhasted and worn out today. My head's also poundin' from my fall yesterday.

Would anyone care to join me in a coffee and movie fest tonight... all night?

I’ve absorbed 7 powers | | just try and touch me sugah

[July 6th, 2003 @ 1:03PM ]
[ mood | hungry ]

What more is there to do than sit here and hug my lil' stuffed cat. And yes surprisingly I, Rogue, do have a stuffed animal. I'm not as tough as people make me out to be. Or maybe I am I just choose to make that my outer most personality.

So I'm sittin' here in isolation to damn afraid to move from my room. As I said I'm afraid to hurt anyone. I'm tryin not to fall asleep as well. That nightmare I had scared all the courage I had left in me since I got back to the school. I can't sleep...

It's 4 pm now. I feel so week and fragile... I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday.

I'm too starvin' to stay in here any longer. I need something to eat before I faint.

just try and touch me sugah

[July 6th, 2003 @ 10:19AM ]
[ mood | scared ]

First night back and I slept horribly! I dunno but I've got chills all over my body and although I slept in late I'm completly exhasted. And this is not to mention my dream... or rather a nightmare. I dunno if my powers are finally getting the best of me or if my longing to be with someone has become too uncontrolled. My dream was just to real. I was finally able to touch someone... kiss someone. I was freed from my powers. And there was an unbelievably gorgeous guy... mine... to love, to hold... to kiss. And more than anything he loved me back. We lounged on the beach together, with me curled up right beside him. It was bliss. But as I said it was no sweet fantasy, it was just the beginning of a nightmare! It was torture as my powers unearthed from where ever they had gone to. Watching my lover melt away in my arms... screaming at me to let him go... to stop lovin' him. But I couldn't wake up. Not until it was finished... not until I had killed off my loved ones- my family, my friends... I'm so scared. What if its real? Either way I think I'll stay in my room today. I can't chance not being able to control my powers... losing the X-Men- my only family.

just try and touch me sugah

[July 5th, 2003 @ 7:28PM ]
[ mood | guilty ]

So it's my first day writin' at entry in this journal. I thought I'd start it in order to express all those feelings I'm said to bottle up that end in no good. It's true though. When things get to much I have lil' episodes which ain't none good for anyone, including myself... I mean a month ago I ran away from the school. I don't know why! Just to overwhelmed perhaps... And maybe... maybe that's why... no, it couldn't be. It's only because of my powers that no one will ever draw close enough to lovin' me.

Gosh! I've never cried so much in my life. Just sittin' here writin' this makes me cry. I've been gone for so long. Nothin's the same... Apparently Bobby's slippen away into a coma and the whole team's either upset or wasted away. But more than anything I don't want Bobby to leave... Bobby wake up... don't leave me here without you.

If only I hadn't run away. Maybe Bobby would still be strong. Everyone seems sad around here. Well, I better head of to bed. I got so much to catch up on for the next while. Hopefully people will update me on it all.

I'm sorry I ran away, sugah...

just try and touch me sugah

[ viewing | most recent entries ]